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22 Oct 1993, 18:00
ZA-ZOMBOID
Rebel NewsVol. I, No. 1. Rosewood. Day 85.

Crime and obituaries

Rookie Rumble Ends in the Muldraugh Morgue

Seven newcomers stepped off the bus on Friday. Three of them immediately hit each other with kitchenware. Two of them then went to Muldraugh, which was the real mistake.

Rosewood main street, Friday afternoon. The hatchet did not help. Note the audience. Rebel News picture desk

ROSEWOOD. Friday was arrivals day, the busiest since the outbreak: seven fresh survivors, still smelling of the bus. Three of them found each other on the main street within the hour and, for reasons nobody has explained, started swinging.

Forty minutes. 122 blows. Most were fists. The rest were whatever Rosewood had left lying about: a meat hook, two knives, a smashed bottle, a couple of wrenches, a black pen (twice, with feeling) and one empty saucepan, swung with a sound this paper can only imagine. The man with the hatchet ended it, one swing each, and everybody walked away. That was the last sensible thing anyone in this story did.

Weapons of the Rumble122 hits
  • 98Fists
  • 8Meat hook
  • 5Knives
  • 3Smashed bottle
  • 3Wrenches
  • 2Hatchet
  • 2Black pen
  • 1Saucepan

Muldraugh, after dark

Two of the three then set off for Muldraugh. In the dark. In the rain. Muldraugh is where Knox County keeps its zombies.

Where the county died this weekdeaths
  • Muldraugh8two of them at the optometrist
  • Riverside4
  • West Point3
  • Fallas Lake2
  • March Ridge1
  • Muldraugh outskirts1

Muldraugh has been doing this all week: eight of the county's nineteen dead, one survivor twice in the same yard, another twenty-three minutes after stepping off the bus. Rebel News offers the newcomers one piece of advice, free: live in Rosewood, fight in Riverside, and stay out of Muldraugh after dark.

Sources: the server logs. All of them. We have nothing else to read.